When I Began Seeing Sleep as Part of the Path
TLDR: Persistent fatigue can become a habit when sleep is not prioritised, driven by cravings, restlessness, and busyness that spill into everyday life. This reflection explores how rest is not separate from the Dhamma, but a vital support for mindfulness, health, and a sustainable path of practice.
When Fatigue Becomes a Habit
Feeling tired the whole day. Nodding off during meditation. Not getting enough sleep no matter how hard I try. This was and still is my reality. I know I am not the only one. A survey by YouGov last year showed that more than half of Singaporeans sleep less than seven hours a night. I am part of that statistic. On weekdays, I often get six hours of sleep, sometimes even five.
Weekends were supposed to be my chance to catch up. I stretched it to eight or nine hours. Occasionally, I woke up feeling refreshed, but most days I still felt groggy. A blanket of haziness wrapped around my eyes and settled in my head. Some mornings, the extra sleep even gave me a headache.
For a long time, I wondered how I had slipped into this cycle.
It took me a while to admit that the main reason was simple.
I had never prioritised sleep.
The Patterns That Kept Me Exhausted
Squeezing more into every day
My habit of packing “just one more task” into the night was deeply ingrained. More sleep meant less time for leisure or work, so I pushed bedtime later. Productivity became a quiet badge of honour. The fewer hours I slept, the more competent I felt.
When I procrastinated, I filled the gap with my phone. I scrolled for stimulation because I believed I still had time for what I planned to do. Looking back, it was a familiar pull of tanha, a craving for pleasant sights and sounds when the day hadn’t felt fulfilling.
The long-term impact of shift work
Two years of working rotating shifts (morning, afternoon, night) disrupted everything. The constant change confused my body. When an early shift followed an afternoon shift, I slept fewer than six hours. My body was so used to sleeping at midnight that even with an early start the next day, I stayed up out of habit.
This affected my mood and alertness. I tried sleeping earlier, but my body refused. I used to think I lacked discipline. Later, I realised that sleep routines need to be sustainable, not forced.
Returning to regular hours
My current job has stable office hours. I finish work on time and get more personal space in the evenings. Most days, I manage at least six hours of sleep. Yet even then, I sometimes wake up tired. I wondered whether I should have kept a stricter sleep schedule. I still revisit this question often.
Doom-scrolling and the mind’s restlessness
Doom-scrolling before bed is a real problem for me. I suspect many people relate. The restlessness came from craving, a quiet search for a “high” through videos, reels, and noise. Some nights, revenge scrolling felt like compensation for a day I didn’t fully enjoy.
Setting a fixed scrolling window helped. Noticing the urge helped too. I don’t always succeed in putting my phone down, but I try to celebrate small wins. Recognising tanha at the moment it arises is already a step. There is no need to scold myself for not being perfect. If the whole day has drained my battery, it is understandable that the brakes don’t work at night.
Still, the scrolling had consequences.
How Poor Sleep Affected My Mind, Body, and Relationships
My brain slowed.
I struggled to think, process, and respond.
I rechecked my work repeatedly because I didn’t trust my focus. That slowed me down even more.
I felt sluggish.
During my shift-work period, when I felt extremely drained, I ate more and without awareness. My hobbies lost their colour. Things I used to enjoy didn’t lift me the same way.
With people I cared about, I showed up physically but not mentally. I once fell asleep in a friend’s home while waiting for the evening programme. Friends started teasing me for being sleepy all the time. It wasn’t unkind, but it reminded me of how difficult it was for me to be fully present.
Meditation reflected everything sharply. When people asked how my sit went, I often said, “I fell asleep.” There were times I slept in the Dhamma hall before group sits. Even during meditation, I kept nodding off.
The turning point came during a group Q&A session with an Ajahn. I asked, a little embarrassed, if my sloth and torpor came from past kamma. He paused, looked at me, and asked how much I had slept. When I said “five hours on weekdays”, the whole group gasped. I felt the heat rise in my face. The Ajahn simply told me to sleep at least six.
That instruction stayed with me.
It reminded me that rest is part of the path, not separate from it.
Even the Capala Sutta describes reclining mindfully when sleepiness overwhelms us. If the body needs rest, rest. Continue the practice after waking. I try to keep a short morning sit more consistently now.
“[recline] on your right side — take up the lion’s posture, one foot placed on top of the other, mindful, alert, with your mind set on getting up.”
Of course, sleepiness during meditation is not always caused by lack of rest. Strenuous activity, health issues, or emotional strain can all contribute. These deserve attention too. But in my case, poor sleep was a main factor.
How I’m Learning to Care for My Sleep Again
Understanding what my body needs
At a retreat, I asked another Ajahn why I still felt tired despite eight hours of sleep. He asked what work I did, listened patiently, and told me to sleep more if needed. I took afternoon naps during that retreat and felt noticeably better. I realised there is no point comparing myself with people who function well on less sleep.
Different bodies have different needs.
The National Sleep Foundation recommends seven to nine hours for adults. The Dalai Lama once mentioned he sleeps nine hours and wakes at three to meditate. Hearing this helped me soften toward my own limits.
Setting a non-negotiable bedtime
Sleep won’t happen by accident. I need to choose it. I now decide when to wind down and commit to it.
Some friends my age sleep by nine or ten at night. Knowing this surprised me. It also encouraged me. Their consistency showed me that earlier sleep is possible.
Preparing myself for rest
I use screen-time apps like ScreenZen to create a pause before I open social media. I also limit myself to about thirty minutes a day on certain apps. These small habits help prevent late-night scrolling spirals.
My phone shifts to black and white after eleven. The softer light reduces stimulation and signals my body to settle.
I try not to add new tasks at the end of the day. Instead, I turn to simple, calming activities. Chanting. Loving-kindness meditation. A few pages of a Dhamma book. I’m still experimenting with what works.
Remembering why rest matters to me
I want to be healthier; physically and mentally.
That means changing my habits, not just wishing for better sleep.
I now re-evaluate my to-do list more often. Juggling work, family time, leisure, volunteering, and Dhamma activities can feel like balancing on a tightrope. Sometimes I need to let go of certain plans or postpone them.
I plan fewer activities each day, especially on weekends. Two things a day is my current limit. This feels like a practice of letting go, releasing the urge to maximise every hour and instead choosing what is truly important.
I also try to listen to my body. I don’t chase good sleep scores on wellness apps for the sake of it. If I need more rest around the time of the month, I let myself sleep longer. There is no need to guilt-trip myself for responding to what the body asks for.
Where Rest and Dhamma Meet
I still struggle with a regular sleep cycle. I still adjust my habits. But I try sincerely and remind myself why sleep is good for me and my Dhamma practice.
Rest supports the whole path. When the body is nourished, mindfulness grows clearer, effort becomes steadier, and wisdom has space to appear.
Sleep is not laziness. It is a way of caring for a body and mind that are doing their best.
If I’ve shown up sincerely, there is no need to turn the night into another reason to scold myself. I return to the basics. I rest. I try again tomorrow.
I sincerely wish all human beings can have well-rested and sufficient sleep.
Disclaimer
This is not medical advice. It reflects my experience and some research. If sleep issues persist or cause distress, please consult a doctor.
Wise Steps
- Notice craving without blame: Gently observe urges like late-night scrolling or procrastination as forms of tanha, and respond with kind adjustments rather than self-criticism.
- Choose rest intentionally: Set a non-negotiable bedtime if you can and begin winding down early. Recognise that sleep does not occur as an accident but rather through deliberate care.
- Respect your body’s limits: Honour your individual sleep needs without comparison. Understand that adequate rest supports clarity and a steady effort on the path.